Thursday, April 30, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
i'll follow you into the dark
i miss home!! i miss greensboro! i miss my family and my friends and my youth group and my church. i miss my bed. i miss lucy, my dog! its strange having such mixed feelings. i do not want to go home.. i can't imagine leaving my YWAM family... but i want to go home. i want to see my family!! i love australia. i miss america. silly feelings!!
so every tuesday for the rest of DTS i will be going to a local elementary school to run a program called Extreme. basically we (shae, andy, ezra, martin, and tina) have 25 minutes to entertain kids and tell them about Jesus... while being politically correct! its usually really fun. we do dramas and skits and play crazy games. we also share simple stories about God and how he has worked in our lives. i love it. i'm already getting attached to their cute australian accents and yellow and green school uniforms. i just love having the opportunity to go there every week and build relationships with these kids and tell them about Jesus. there is nothing i'd rather do with my time.
so i've started paying my school fees!! its really exciting to have all my lecture fees taken care of!! but i still need about $1500 dollars for outreach... but i know God will provide. and i want to thank everyone who has supported my financially! i couldn't be here without y'all! i really, really appreciate it!!
lately i've been learning about trusting God. i mean, really trusting him. with your heart.that means being vulnerable with him... letting him in to see how you REALLY feel, not just what you want to let him see... not just what you think is presentable... no. i'm talking about letting God see your pain.. your heart. your wounds. letting him in. and its not something i've been able to do on my own... in my own strength, i am not able to allow God into those painful places... its too scary.. its too vulnerable.. but i can allow God to go in there in HIS strength (2 cor 12:9) and change me... its a hard things. its like... trusting him to help you trust him with those wounds. but its cool at the same time. you know the Psalm where it says "search me O God, and know my heart" (psalm 139:23, btw) well that is what is happening to me right now. not by my own strength, but by His, i'm letting God into those wounds... those vulnerable places that make you squirm and maybe even cry when you think about them. its funny how we say all these things to God about how we will do whatever he says and we are his to do whatever he wants with and how we give him our hearts... but we don't really. we always hold one (or more) thing back... that one wound that you just can't let go of... it hurts too bad. well i want to encourage you to trust god. go out on a limb. offer your heart on a platter. God won't let you down.
Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm,
for God can be trusted to keep his promise. -hebrews 10:23
you know what. even if heaven wasn't real, even if we all just went to hell when we died, or there was just nothing at all... i would still follow Jesus. he is so worthy. even if there was nothing in it for me.... i would still love my Jesus. God is good. hes not tame, but hes good.
so every tuesday for the rest of DTS i will be going to a local elementary school to run a program called Extreme. basically we (shae, andy, ezra, martin, and tina) have 25 minutes to entertain kids and tell them about Jesus... while being politically correct! its usually really fun. we do dramas and skits and play crazy games. we also share simple stories about God and how he has worked in our lives. i love it. i'm already getting attached to their cute australian accents and yellow and green school uniforms. i just love having the opportunity to go there every week and build relationships with these kids and tell them about Jesus. there is nothing i'd rather do with my time.
so i've started paying my school fees!! its really exciting to have all my lecture fees taken care of!! but i still need about $1500 dollars for outreach... but i know God will provide. and i want to thank everyone who has supported my financially! i couldn't be here without y'all! i really, really appreciate it!!
lately i've been learning about trusting God. i mean, really trusting him. with your heart.that means being vulnerable with him... letting him in to see how you REALLY feel, not just what you want to let him see... not just what you think is presentable... no. i'm talking about letting God see your pain.. your heart. your wounds. letting him in. and its not something i've been able to do on my own... in my own strength, i am not able to allow God into those painful places... its too scary.. its too vulnerable.. but i can allow God to go in there in HIS strength (2 cor 12:9) and change me... its a hard things. its like... trusting him to help you trust him with those wounds. but its cool at the same time. you know the Psalm where it says "search me O God, and know my heart" (psalm 139:23, btw) well that is what is happening to me right now. not by my own strength, but by His, i'm letting God into those wounds... those vulnerable places that make you squirm and maybe even cry when you think about them. its funny how we say all these things to God about how we will do whatever he says and we are his to do whatever he wants with and how we give him our hearts... but we don't really. we always hold one (or more) thing back... that one wound that you just can't let go of... it hurts too bad. well i want to encourage you to trust god. go out on a limb. offer your heart on a platter. God won't let you down.
Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm,
for God can be trusted to keep his promise. -hebrews 10:23
you know what. even if heaven wasn't real, even if we all just went to hell when we died, or there was just nothing at all... i would still follow Jesus. he is so worthy. even if there was nothing in it for me.... i would still love my Jesus. God is good. hes not tame, but hes good.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
spring cleaning
i am SO sorry i haven't updated in ages!! its really hard to find the time to write an entire blog!! the past couple of days have been amazing!! to give an example of an average day, i thought i would post a schedule on my blog!
every morning we wake up at 6:30am to do workduties. work duties are just cleaning the house, and every week, we all rotate. this week, i'm on kitchen duty.
then from 7am to 8:40am, we have quiet time, eat breakfast, and get ready. we are just left to do our own thing. i usually shower first, then eat and then have quiet time before we leave.
at 9am, lectures or class start. we usually have something like intercession or worship in the morning, so not usually lectures. but its different everyday. yesterday, we all sat in a circle and talked about how we were doing emotionally, physically, and spiritually, and then we prayed for eachother. its awesome to be so close with everyone. we are all very honest and open.
(side note- tuesdays is community day. so every tuesday morning we have worship and intercession, and then go out into surfers paradise, homeless shelters, or put on programs for the local schools in the morning.)
10am- TEA TIME! we have a 30 minute tea time EVERYDAY. and its a big deal! everyone in australia has tea time!! we have tea or coffee with like fruit or bread or cookies. its so cute.
10:30-1pm- lectures!! we have different speakers every week, but each week is themed. like this week was hearing god's voice.
1-2pm is lunch. this week i was on lunch clean up, so i cleaned with ivan after lunch everyday.
2pm-4- lectures/small group/one on ones/ ACTS. it changes everyday. one on ones is when you go out with your staff mentor to talk. just to check up on us and give us a chance to be open and express what we're learning or if we're struggling with stuff. my mentor is Tina. she is great!! ACTS is explained in an earlier blog. my ACTS is cleaning the base. so yeah, 2-4pm is something different everyday.
4-5:30pm is free time! this is when i use the computer.
5-6pm is dinner.
6ish-9pm is lectures or outreach prep or coffee van (we set up a free coffee van in downtown GC and just minister to people. but this is only on thursday nights). or just free time. it changes everyday.
so after whatever we do at night, we go back home. i love our house. i feel at home there. i love coming back there after a long day. we usually hang out and play cards or swim. i usually just go to bed at like 10pm because i'm so tired!!! and then the whole day starts again!
its a pretty full day, especially when its EVERY day all week. its a little overwhelming sometimes. people keep asking me how i'm doing or how my heart is or what i'm feeling... and its hard to just tell people one emotion. i am just learning and processing SO MUCH information, and God is just teaching me and revealing so many things to me and just cleaning me out. thats how i feel. like its spring cleaning time. in the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, there is a scene where the narnians and aslan take over the witch's castle. people are charging in and opening every window, every door. they are letting in the light and the fresh air. every damp and dark room is exposed. thats how i feel. like God is shining his light into the very darkest corner rooms of my heart. hes just charging through and spring cleaning has begun. i kind of just feel like i'm just along for the ride. its hard to pinpoint ONE thing i'm feeling or ONE thing i'm learning, because its all just A LOT. but its good. its very good.
last night, we celebrated the Jewish feast, Purim, which is when Ester helped save her people from an attack. So, in the tradition of Purim, we all dressed up in costumes! everyone looked so cute. i was a cat :) haha. so we all met in our costumes and took turns reading the entire book of Ester outloud. then we all just ate food and talked and stuff. it was so fun! i loved dressing up!
anyway... thats all for now! i'll try to be better about updating y'all more often! thanks SO MUCH for your prayers for me! i need them! i miss and love y'all so much!!!
hugs and kisses from australia!
grace
every morning we wake up at 6:30am to do workduties. work duties are just cleaning the house, and every week, we all rotate. this week, i'm on kitchen duty.
then from 7am to 8:40am, we have quiet time, eat breakfast, and get ready. we are just left to do our own thing. i usually shower first, then eat and then have quiet time before we leave.
at 9am, lectures or class start. we usually have something like intercession or worship in the morning, so not usually lectures. but its different everyday. yesterday, we all sat in a circle and talked about how we were doing emotionally, physically, and spiritually, and then we prayed for eachother. its awesome to be so close with everyone. we are all very honest and open.
(side note- tuesdays is community day. so every tuesday morning we have worship and intercession, and then go out into surfers paradise, homeless shelters, or put on programs for the local schools in the morning.)
10am- TEA TIME! we have a 30 minute tea time EVERYDAY. and its a big deal! everyone in australia has tea time!! we have tea or coffee with like fruit or bread or cookies. its so cute.
10:30-1pm- lectures!! we have different speakers every week, but each week is themed. like this week was hearing god's voice.
1-2pm is lunch. this week i was on lunch clean up, so i cleaned with ivan after lunch everyday.
2pm-4- lectures/small group/one on ones/ ACTS. it changes everyday. one on ones is when you go out with your staff mentor to talk. just to check up on us and give us a chance to be open and express what we're learning or if we're struggling with stuff. my mentor is Tina. she is great!! ACTS is explained in an earlier blog. my ACTS is cleaning the base. so yeah, 2-4pm is something different everyday.
4-5:30pm is free time! this is when i use the computer.
5-6pm is dinner.
6ish-9pm is lectures or outreach prep or coffee van (we set up a free coffee van in downtown GC and just minister to people. but this is only on thursday nights). or just free time. it changes everyday.
so after whatever we do at night, we go back home. i love our house. i feel at home there. i love coming back there after a long day. we usually hang out and play cards or swim. i usually just go to bed at like 10pm because i'm so tired!!! and then the whole day starts again!
its a pretty full day, especially when its EVERY day all week. its a little overwhelming sometimes. people keep asking me how i'm doing or how my heart is or what i'm feeling... and its hard to just tell people one emotion. i am just learning and processing SO MUCH information, and God is just teaching me and revealing so many things to me and just cleaning me out. thats how i feel. like its spring cleaning time. in the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, there is a scene where the narnians and aslan take over the witch's castle. people are charging in and opening every window, every door. they are letting in the light and the fresh air. every damp and dark room is exposed. thats how i feel. like God is shining his light into the very darkest corner rooms of my heart. hes just charging through and spring cleaning has begun. i kind of just feel like i'm just along for the ride. its hard to pinpoint ONE thing i'm feeling or ONE thing i'm learning, because its all just A LOT. but its good. its very good.
last night, we celebrated the Jewish feast, Purim, which is when Ester helped save her people from an attack. So, in the tradition of Purim, we all dressed up in costumes! everyone looked so cute. i was a cat :) haha. so we all met in our costumes and took turns reading the entire book of Ester outloud. then we all just ate food and talked and stuff. it was so fun! i loved dressing up!
anyway... thats all for now! i'll try to be better about updating y'all more often! thanks SO MUCH for your prayers for me! i need them! i miss and love y'all so much!!!
hugs and kisses from australia!
grace
Sunday, March 1, 2009
miscellaneous blog entry
so i've been really wanting to try to drive here. in Australia, they drive on the opposite side of the road and the driver sits in the passenger seat!! also, most of the cars here are stick shift. but, i don't know how to drive stick shift, so there was no way i could drive. however, Carly told me that she had an automatic and that she would let me try driving!!! so friday night after dinner, she let me drive around the neighborhood! haha it was so exciting!! it was strange to be on the wrong side of the road, but it was STRANGER to be driving in the PASSENGER seat. but it was fun!! next time i'm going to drive on an actual road... haha! its going to be amazing.
saturday we all went to Currumbin Beach, which is the beautiful beach that mostly locals go to. shae and i layed out while everyone else surfed.. haha. i'll try surfing... one day... maybe. haha. but it was fun to just all be together. i love living with everyone!
this week we are learning about intimacy with God and hearing his voice. we've had one lecture this morning (its 3:30pm on Monday) and so far... its been amazing. i can't express enough gratitude to the people who have supported this trip. i am learning so much and having the time of my life!!
its funny how time passes here in the YWAM bubble. one day can feel like five minutes or ten years, but you are just oblivious to it. i seem to be wondering around in this strange mix between time passing and time standing still. its like another dimension that faintly resembles the world i know, but its much deeper... like there is much more to soak in. even when i am doing something like scrubbing the bathroom toilet i am aware of time passing, but i don't really want it to. then in worship, it feels like time is standing still, but then in a moment... its over. its gone... passed on. i wonder what God feels about time and its passing. is he aware of it? he is so outside of time and our ideas of time...
anyway. this is irrelevant. i was just pondering things. i love reading your comments! if you read my blog, please comment! it makes me feel just a little bit closer to home :)
love, grace
saturday we all went to Currumbin Beach, which is the beautiful beach that mostly locals go to. shae and i layed out while everyone else surfed.. haha. i'll try surfing... one day... maybe. haha. but it was fun to just all be together. i love living with everyone!
this week we are learning about intimacy with God and hearing his voice. we've had one lecture this morning (its 3:30pm on Monday) and so far... its been amazing. i can't express enough gratitude to the people who have supported this trip. i am learning so much and having the time of my life!!
its funny how time passes here in the YWAM bubble. one day can feel like five minutes or ten years, but you are just oblivious to it. i seem to be wondering around in this strange mix between time passing and time standing still. its like another dimension that faintly resembles the world i know, but its much deeper... like there is much more to soak in. even when i am doing something like scrubbing the bathroom toilet i am aware of time passing, but i don't really want it to. then in worship, it feels like time is standing still, but then in a moment... its over. its gone... passed on. i wonder what God feels about time and its passing. is he aware of it? he is so outside of time and our ideas of time...
anyway. this is irrelevant. i was just pondering things. i love reading your comments! if you read my blog, please comment! it makes me feel just a little bit closer to home :)
love, grace
Thursday, February 26, 2009
baaa baa black sheep
last night at dinner i was just talking with everyone and then it turned into "make fun of grace's accent night" and everyone started repeating everything i said in an exaggerated southern accent!! ugh. haha. and THEN they said that i sounded like a sheep when i say "bye" because i say by. or ba. or whatever. a sheep! they said i sounded like a sheep! whatever. they are all just jealous of my amazing southern accent. they will miss it when i leave!
we are all starting to really settle in. i think its hitting us that we're going to be here for awhile. its not just summer camp. we're here for months! its exciting though. we all get along and i really like everyone. we are a good group and we really get along. its friday afternoon right now (1:22am on thursday at home) and with our first week of lectures over, i'm feeling pretty good. our speaker this past week was AMAZING. and worship. man, worship this week was incredible. seriously, i couldn't be more thankful for the opportunity to take six months of my life to just be with God.
i'm going to leave you with this to think about:
seek His face, not his hands. seek the PERSON, not the principle.
Jesus IS the way, the truth, and the life. he doesn't HAVE the way. he IS the way. he doesn't HAVE the truth, he IS the truth. he doesn't HAVE life, he IS life. seek his ways, not is actions. his face, not his hands. seek his heart. the person, not the principle.
<3
we are all starting to really settle in. i think its hitting us that we're going to be here for awhile. its not just summer camp. we're here for months! its exciting though. we all get along and i really like everyone. we are a good group and we really get along. its friday afternoon right now (1:22am on thursday at home) and with our first week of lectures over, i'm feeling pretty good. our speaker this past week was AMAZING. and worship. man, worship this week was incredible. seriously, i couldn't be more thankful for the opportunity to take six months of my life to just be with God.
i'm going to leave you with this to think about:
seek His face, not his hands. seek the PERSON, not the principle.
Jesus IS the way, the truth, and the life. he doesn't HAVE the way. he IS the way. he doesn't HAVE the truth, he IS the truth. he doesn't HAVE life, he IS life. seek his ways, not is actions. his face, not his hands. seek his heart. the person, not the principle.
<3
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
waove, towue waove...
what i want to challenge you to do is to love. i've been learning about love this week. what i've learned is that love is NOT a feeling. get that out of your head. love is not an EMOTION. love is a decision. a sacrifice. and with sincere love, feelings usually follow. i'm not just talking about marriage or romantic love, but with everyone. god IS love. and love is God. out of hope and even FAITH, love is the greatest. the entire universe revolves around this unconditional love. everything hangs on this.
God so LOVED the world that he GAVE his only... you know the rest. love is a sacrifice. not just giving because when you give, you usually can get something back. but sacrifice, you don't get anything from that. its a SACRIFICE. God created us in his own image so that we could be like him and love like him. God's kind of love is a covenant love. it expects nothing back. it is completely selfless.
faith works in LOVE.
"love the lord you god with ALL your heart, soul, mind, and strength." if you understand love, you understand God. god is love. god is a GIVER. the entire universe hangs on this principle. God is calling us to love him first and then others with this kind of love. this covenant. 1 john 3:16 says
"we know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. so we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters."
that doesn't mean we are supposed to just die for everyone. it can also be practical. thinking of others first is very simple. and its loving them. isn't it funny that the key to the universe is simply thinking of others first? if you know God, you know love. if you know love, you know god. loving like this is engaging your spirit. at the same time it is DISengaging and destroying the Enemy. if you can get into love, you can get into the spirit.
love is not an emotion. its who God is. its the law of the kingdom. its how everything functions. the entire reason the universe was created was for us to love God and for him to love us back. its the reason he gave us free will. loving people is not about FEELING emotion. the very CHARACTER and NATURE of God is LOVE.
if you mull this over and think about this and accept it, it'll change your perspective on everything. if you understand love, God will CHANGE your heart. my heart has been flipped upside down and turned inside out by this concept. its totally not about me. how silly it was to think it was. the key to EVERYTHING is love. God IS love. forget the emotion "love". that is not real. love is deeper. read 1 cor 13 for heavens sake. those aren't mushy "aw i love you" feelings. although god created those too. but 1 john says if we don't love we don't belong to God. love is crucial. it is pretty much the answer to EVERYTHING.. haha. even if you get nothing in return. its not about you. God will bless you. find TRUE love and you find God. life isn't about boys or petty friendships or clothes or music or movies. all those things are IN life, but life is not ABOUT those things. life is about love. God is in the love business, people.
God so LOVED the world that he GAVE his only... you know the rest. love is a sacrifice. not just giving because when you give, you usually can get something back. but sacrifice, you don't get anything from that. its a SACRIFICE. God created us in his own image so that we could be like him and love like him. God's kind of love is a covenant love. it expects nothing back. it is completely selfless.
faith works in LOVE.
"love the lord you god with ALL your heart, soul, mind, and strength." if you understand love, you understand God. god is love. god is a GIVER. the entire universe hangs on this principle. God is calling us to love him first and then others with this kind of love. this covenant. 1 john 3:16 says
"we know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. so we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters."
that doesn't mean we are supposed to just die for everyone. it can also be practical. thinking of others first is very simple. and its loving them. isn't it funny that the key to the universe is simply thinking of others first? if you know God, you know love. if you know love, you know god. loving like this is engaging your spirit. at the same time it is DISengaging and destroying the Enemy. if you can get into love, you can get into the spirit.
love is not an emotion. its who God is. its the law of the kingdom. its how everything functions. the entire reason the universe was created was for us to love God and for him to love us back. its the reason he gave us free will. loving people is not about FEELING emotion. the very CHARACTER and NATURE of God is LOVE.
if you mull this over and think about this and accept it, it'll change your perspective on everything. if you understand love, God will CHANGE your heart. my heart has been flipped upside down and turned inside out by this concept. its totally not about me. how silly it was to think it was. the key to EVERYTHING is love. God IS love. forget the emotion "love". that is not real. love is deeper. read 1 cor 13 for heavens sake. those aren't mushy "aw i love you" feelings. although god created those too. but 1 john says if we don't love we don't belong to God. love is crucial. it is pretty much the answer to EVERYTHING.. haha. even if you get nothing in return. its not about you. God will bless you. find TRUE love and you find God. life isn't about boys or petty friendships or clothes or music or movies. all those things are IN life, but life is not ABOUT those things. life is about love. God is in the love business, people.
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